I just love to talk about love...

Don't we all just want to be loved? Love, seriously is it. My mom made me very sad yesterday. I blurted out at her as I selfishly said "you never know about anything going on in my life here because you never really ask". I so wish she understood. I thought about it a long while, after talking it over with sister. And came to the conclusion that I don't know how she feels at all. I know she is not trying to be ugly---she just wants to be loved too. She wants to be understood, needed, comforted and so many other things that fall under the banner of love. She probably wishes I understood her too. She probably thinks, I never REALLY ask her what's going on either.

I have a precious friend that I know a very dear secret about. The same thing can be applied. My heart breaks for her and all I know to do is pray.

This particular day in my life, many of my friends have seemed to suddenly "have someone". At least momentarily. Momentarily I mean, maybe months, maybe years, maybe a lifetime. Lifetime, I can't seem to get over the fact that we are given each day as a gift. So easily said, I know, but so true. Our lives are not long at all, at all I say. They are quite short it seems and it seems we need to get up, get out there and do something for goodness sake. (this is where i chase a healthy rabbit). Yes, but what about someone loving me? That is so precious and so dear. What is life without that? Pretty much horse poop. I know my Father in heaven loves me so much but yet at the same time---there are points in life (which can seem never ending) that you need a physical person to tell you that. To grab you, hold you tight and say "you are beautiful, I love you absolutely just the way you are with every single mistake and problem in your life and even though you don't act the same to me, I love YOU and only you". Ahhhh, how nice. Yes, it is true, but nonetheless, life doesn't necessarily happen that way.

We are all entrusted by God with blessings, and with sorrows. We tend to think blessings are the only thing that need to be shared, but why do we neglect to share our sorrows? I don't think our frames are meant to withstand the full load of sorrows. As we carry our sorrows, we need to know that someone else is helping lighten the load through prayers, thoughts, and sincere concern. That is love, right? We get to share in the good and the bad times. We get to know the bad and good. I truly hope that I can be a friend that can share in both the joys and the sad times with my friends. I also hope that I can be the friend who can share my joys and my sad times with my friends. I'm not always great at it. So, here it goes, next time we talk on the phone or see each other, lets be good at not skimming the surface of the light love, but get deep. From my perspective, you need to keep me accountable because I am a sinner to the maximum. Seriously, ask me some hard questions. and I'm going to try to ask you some hard questions too, if you are open to it(and that you must be). Life is not meant for us to live in a well of guilt and shame with no light at the surface but rather a life of freedom outside of the cold stone walls, outside where someone could hear our cry for help and see that we are about to fall in.