medical outreach

Had my first day of service in new orleans today. It was reaffirming to read NODC---new orleans dream center, on the papers. It's real. I did move down here listening to God. I am just so excited about helping. I was in the sketchy part of town. But I had sweet Sandra that posed as my mother taking care of me. It really hit me as we filed down canal street. As I was waiting on the light to turn green, I looked to the left and saw several homeless people laying scattered underneath the interstate. It is true, they are here. I saw it. People who for whatever reason are enduring a defeated life. I am continually blessed by mark and doreen. Mark is on a hunt to set me up with someone and decided that he and I should go get a hot dog tonight. Funny, but certainly appreciated. All I did was take down some names, ask for heights, did a few weights and made a little boy very scared of needles. But it was good knowing we were doing it in the the name of Jesus Christ. We didn't lead anyone to Christ, but maybe we were a stepping stone for someone.

Got my number assigned to me on friday, I think!

Auburn upset 4th ranked florida last night, good stuff.

not good enough

As I watching aimlessly watching tv today, instead of doing much more productive things for my mind, body and soul it occured to me that reality tv equals "you just are not good enough" just think about all the reality shows. This particular thought occured as I was watching another reality show called "American Princess". It shows a bunch of girls who obviously think they have what it takes to be an American Princess. And just like all the other reality shows, each one gets eliminated as the show progresses until the final battle when it comes down to the winner who will be dubbed the American Princess. So, as I began to think, I couldn't come up with one show that you were perfect for just being you. You either are not pretty, fast, skinny, fat, intelligent, graceful, glamorous, cheesy, mean, nice, funny, captivating, ingenious, deceiving, politcally correct enough. It's ridiculous. I would never make it on one of those shows, because I wouldn't be being me. The girl God created. Yes, of course, I would win a show hands down if it was called becoming the next "Leslie Fieg", because guess what, that is me. I wouldn't need to change anything or be enough of anything to win that part. Maybe I lack in the competitive spirit-or maybe I'm happy being me. It's good to know that I don't have to go on a reality show to prove something to myself. I feel very content with this. I can't say that I don't struggle with everyday comings and goings with other people and the feeling that I must prove myself to them. I do. Many times. But I have to live my life, I don't intentionally bring pain and rejection on my life by being on a reality show to prove myself someone other than I may be perceived by someone else. That's all.

Iran's president Mamoud Ahmadjihad (sp?) spoke at a general assembly type of meeting today in the USA. He likes to talk about prophets including adam, noah, moses, Jesus Christ and of course Mohammed. He is so super confused. It is quite sad to me.

I would love the chance to get to know him better. As I write this, I hear the Lord telling me, I would like to get to know you better too.

freedom...

...and this secret it will run to the corners of the earth, where every woman, every son, will carry highter their chains undone...hallelujah, king forever, friend and savior---Jesus' love never fails me...

Looking into their eyes, you can see hope. Hope they have not always had. I judge. I judge them for the color of their skin, for their apparent lack of social status. I see them walk by dressed differently from me. A little less full of pride. With inhibitions less prevalent. Wow, every color of skin is here. And they are here to pray for their city. They don't have the nicest things and they didn't grow up in Headland, Alabama, but God loves them just the same. And they love God too.

A man randomly shouts out in tongues a short phrase and quickly translates it. Another woman crys as the speaker prays for racial barriers to be broken in the city and over the country and world alike. One lady wears a lace head dress and blows a shofar. It is Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. This IS in the Bible. But it's still weird to me. I struggle with the thought of emotion verse Holy Spirit. The baptist in me is strong and fights hard. Or is it satan? That's in the Bible too.

I judge the black man who gets up there and prays but says the same thing over and over again. Seems like emotion to me. Is he sincere? I'm just not sure. What about the man leading the worship, I feel like it is so contrived. "Everyone move to the middle so we can all be TOGETHER". What about the baptist preacher that got up to pray. What does he think about all this weird "fullness" of the Holy Spirit stuff? He prayed for the politicians. No one prayed outloud with him or raised their hands like the other more pentecostal-like preachers....or apostles for that matter. Yes, there was someone that called himself an apostle. That's crazy. Oh, but it's in the Bible.

RC is full force and I just sit back and observe, afraid that if I let myself go it will be emotion and contrived. and now that I don't feel like I'm missing a blessing.

That's me judging, perplexed and frustrated.

I look at these people and a smile appears on my face when I see that no matter what they are feeling, doing or saying, they are doing it in the name of Jesus Christ, our messiah. Today is the day of atonement which fine and dandy, but the Jewish nation continues to walk around with a veil on their face celebrating these holidays, going through the rituals all while their messiah has entered those eastern gates already!! The tomb is empty. And I judge. I see the light of our Heavenly Father in their eyes and smiles and laughter. I LOVE IT!! At one point, after seeing a latino fellow praying his heart out, I said "I can hardly stand this!". In alot of ways, NOLA is like Nigeria. There is alot of bad. Lots of demonic stuff both places, but when these people find the joy of the Lord....they have found the JOY of the LORD!!

I want to not care about any of these stupid conflicts that I conjure up in my head. I want to love the Lord my God with all my heart with all my mind and with all my soul. Period.

These are the people I will be with in Heaven! I better get used to praising the Lord with them and stop placing my silly judgements on them.

We are free, hallelujah, we are free!!!

...

Where dose my help come from? It comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth.
I thank you Lord.

changes

So many words to say...but don't know how to say all of them. Life changes quickly. What wonderful things I've been able to experience this year of 2007, and it's not over. Looked at my last blog and found I had not blogged since January of this year. Quick recap: Africa, Israel, Deep Sea Fishing, Talledaga, Beach (twice), God saving me from the gulf, wedding in NOLA, wedding in S.C., wedding in Decatur(don't be hatin'), smallgroup, Mandeville/NOLA/Covington, Church of the King, Covington FBC, Cynthia, Early Intervention. Life is good, no matter what because I have a God who knows every hair on my head and sincerely cares for me. Hard times may come....actually hard times will come, but that just means I'm in a good place because I have a God who loves me. I'm so sad that so many don't realize that.